Being in a relationship has a lot of pros: you have someone you can lean on, someone who would support you and empower you, someone who will remind you that you are worth it and someone who respects and loves you despite your flaws. However, if you feel otherwise, you should probably raise the red flag and move forward without your partner.
Sure, it is sweet to maintain a relationship but taking care of yourself is the most important thing you should do. If you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t know how you should be treated.
The following are the reasons as to why you should let a bad relationship go, and if one or all of them exist, you better walk away without a second thought.
1. Being with your partner becomes more like a chore.
A healthy relationship allows each person to give and take to feel that they are meeting their needs. The energy flow between the couple is fairly equal and being with them feels like an escape from the cruel world. But what if one day everything feels the opposite? When a relationship starts to crumble and it feels like only one person does all the work to maintain it which results to unbalance and disconnection between the two, then that is a crucial thing to watch out. When one of you is struggling to save the deteriorating relationship, feels resentful towards the other, attests that the other is not doing much while feeling content in their actions, then that is not a good sign. When the other party seems like everything’s okay as if they are fine with the treatment they are giving to their partner, it’s a no-no. It’s clear that something’s wrong especially if talking to them feels like a responsibility, being with them becomes a chore and dealing with them is like a day job that feels like more like a burden. That’s when you know that it has transformed into a bad relationship.
2. You compromise your own happiness for the other person.
Every relationship has its own spice. However, one thing should remain the same for everyone— both persons should have space for their interests and room for opportunities. It doesn’t have to revolve around one person only, it should be fair. Going into a relationship doesn’t mean living somebody else’s life, rather, it is about going through life together. If you notice that the relationship is only about the other person, try creating space for yourself and be vocal in what you feel, still, try to communicate; and if your partner gets upset, in denial or unresponsive, then you must resort to loving yourself more and building your own identity. You have to move on. Losing a relationship is nothing compared to losing yourself.
3. Compassion seems to be missing
A relationship is built with love and fortified with respect. If one of them becomes non-existent between couples, then the relationship will have a hard time to function because compassion is basically not there. Flaws and mistakes are part of our lives, these can never be eliminated completely. Thus, we need someone who will make us feel accepted despite our imperfections. If your partner lost the willingness to forgive, support, admire and effort to make you happy, then it must be a sign that the relationship is eroding and it’s filled with nothing but pain and resent.
4. You are disrespected
Respect is a building block towards a long and lasting relationship. If you constantly feel like you’ve been kicked-in-the-gut, then that must be it. You are being disrespected. It comes in many forms: insults, lying, cheating, gaslighting, shaming and abuse are all signs of disrespect. These kinds of things surely make you feel violated and think lowly of yourself. Small things matter: the way they talk to you, the way they talk about you and treat you. One must be wary of how their partner act towards them, lack of concern may deteriorate not only your relationship but also your identity and self-worth.
Bidding farewell to someone you’ve known for a period of time is difficult, but maintaining your dignity and self-worth is the key to your mental and emotional well-being. Sometimes, letting go is the only cure and the best thing you can do for yourself. Always remember, that if you treat yourself right, then you are teaching other people how they should treat you. Plus, you are creating a happy, healthy and fulfilling nature for yourself! Know your worth and believe that someday, someone is going to come to your life who will take care of you the way you truly deserve.
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